Our closest relationships bring some of the biggest challenges in our lives. We can be perfectly capable of handling the rest of our lives, but the moment a boyfriend asks for space, we feel helpless, lost and abandoned inside. Saying our behaviour is illogical is of no use. What we need is affirmative action so we can take back our power and feel more control of our lives.
The first thing you need to do when your boyfriend asks for space is to calm yourself. Hearing him say the words ‘I need some space” can stop your blood cold, while visions of the end of your relationship flash in your mind. Part of you strives to maintain your dignity while another part of you starts to panic. If you feel yourself rapidly losing control, quickly make an excuse to leave your boyfriend’s side. Run to the toilet or say you are busy with something. Give yourself some time to calm down instead of just reacting. It’s not that you are not allowed to show emotion in front of your boyfriend. Taking control of your emotions just aids your self-esteem more. Remember how horrible it feels when you behave poorly?
After calming yourself down and stopping yourself from imagining the worst, now it’s time to clarify things. To do this, ask the right questions and be willing to listen. Listen very carefully to what your boyfriend says and don’t try to read between the lines. Later, you may want to repeat your boyfriend’s exact words to a trusted male family member or friend, and ask him to help you interpret what your boyfriend said. This is another reason why you need to calm yourself down before having a conversation with your boyfriend. It’s too hard to hear and remember the exact words of your boyfriend when you are in a state of shock and fear.
Lastly, you need to rally some understanding friends and family members for support. You will need their company and listening ears more than ever – because hours apart from your boyfriend (after he asks for space) can strangely feel like days. If you can, draw up a plan to occupy yourself. Then focus yourself on following your plan. No matter how hard it is, agree to your boyfriend’s request for space. Reason being: You would want the same courtesy from him if you asked him for space too.
Transform your ordinary relationship into one filled with long-lasting romance!
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